...as opposed to great lines of wisdom...

If a box of cereal has a photo of a bowl of that cereal on the front of it, and that bowl of cereal has fruit in it, than that cereal is probably not that god tasting.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

• Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott

The only thing worse than awkward silence is small talk.

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you'll be a mile way and have his shoes - Steve Martin

Taxes are essentially just an annual subscription fee that you pay to the country you live in, and childhood is the free trial period.

“Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” - Bill Murray

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

"You can't get full on fancy"

• Kent Rollins

Always give a thumbs up while yawning so deaf people know you’re not screaming.